you fucked up
lost in every sense of the word. 💕
you fucked up
my mom: it’s really not good to eat past sunset
me, whose circadian rhythms have aligned with a nearby raccoon’s: your rules don’t apply here
Important discoveries being made over here.
oh my god😂
[audio transcription: So I’m sure we’ve all seen the videos recently of these things *squeezes the honking chicken several times* little chickens. Um. Well, so I discovered recently that if you pull the head off and then pull the noisemaker out it’s the right size that you can stick it in the end of a trombone mouthpiece. And then *deep breath* *the loudest, most horrible blatting noises* Yeah.]
Has science gone too far
A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was “he’s got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he’d be more comfortable” and it made me realise the world isn’t all that bad
The pet store I worked at had a pen with rabbits near the front door. On every side of the pen were huge signs saying “You can pet me, but don’t pick me up!”
One day two absolutely huge guys came in and one immediately reaches into the pen to grab a rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend grabbed his arm and asked him “did you see the sign?”
He said “yeah! it says that you can pick them up but don’t pet them!”
Then he went quiet for a moment and softly said “I didn’t read it right did I?”
And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder and said “its ok, i know you’ve got that thing where words get mixed up. Let just pet these cute lil shits”
And I still haven’t gotten over that interaction.I was walking my dog through Boston bc he likes the likes car rides. He’s a little thing tbh we call him short and long.
So this huge scary man with a full beard approaches me like “hey can my buddy and I pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs but your’s is so small I think it’s a good place to start.”
Ofc I was like “yes he’s very friendly!” So this guy brings his equally big friend over and they sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of my tiny dog so big man number one asks “can I pick him up?” And i say yes so he picks him up and puts him on man number two’s lap and man number two is abt to freak out and his friend straight up just goes “hey man, it’s okay just relax I’d never let anything hurt you. He’s a good boy.” I’ll never forget it ever bc I know that man looked at me (5'3 , glasses, probably wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda goofy looking little thing) and was like ‘ah yes the two least intimidating living things I’ve seen in Boston all day he’ll feel relaxed around them’ and went out of his way to help his friend. It makes me so happyA good post, pure.
Another adorable story has been added.
can I have these posted right under the politics section in the newspaper? I feel like we need that kinda positivity rn.
You told me to let down my walls for you and so I did, now I am just left bare from your withdrawl.
what it mean when you not even tired but you sleep a lot anyways?
Boy we out here
Depressed
8hy:
there are too many versions of me in the universe! the girl i bumped into but didn’t stop to say sorry to has a version of me in her mind. the guy i let borrow my homework has another version of me in his. even my friends, my family, and everyone i’ve ever met in my life has their own version of me in their minds that i’m not even aware of
you put it into words
Interesting
You ever be so comfortable in bed, you start rubbing your legs together like a cricket?
tumblr dot com posts are getting so relatable im convinced the government has 24/7 surveillance on me and is feeding it to me through this website to see if i notice